One of my biggest fears I have right now is not being able to go home. Home as in living there, working there and having a life there. My family will always be in New York but as I inch closer and closer to what I want to do as a career, it seems like I am moving farther and farther to the one place that I truly love...New York. It seems all too ironic because three years ago, I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of New York. I felt trap, a city of 8 million people...I felt alone.
I left home for Boston in Janurary 2007 thinking that I will be back in the summer but I haven't left Boston since. Now I feel trapped, trapped by the world. What I want to do might take me all over the country, and the world which is what I always wanted however the only place I ever want to go is home. I hate leaving, but I love coming home. I can't seem to find the balance.
You never know what you have until it's gone, and I certainly didn't know what I had in New York. I find myself reading the Daily News online, listening to Z100 and even when I daydream...it's not about the money or my life, its about New York. As sad as that sounds, I daydream with random in-mind still photographs of the Verrazano Bridge, Grand Street and the Subway just to name a few. I am getting a little homesick with all these post about New York. I got it bad is an understatement.